Hi! Welcome to Poor Wife, Rich Life. I'm the Poor Wife. Poor Husband (hereafter referred to as PH) and I have been together for 4 years, and have three great kids. Poor Kid 1 (PK1) is our 5-year old son. He just started kindergarten and is obsessed with all things science. Poor Kid 2 (PK2) is our almost 3 year old daughter. Despite a very rough start in life (4+ months in the NICU) she is healthy and thriving. Poor Baby (PB) is our second daughter, born in July.
Our nicknames are tongue-in-cheek; in reality we don't think of ourselves as poor, and our kids don't know that we live differently than anyone else. That's where the "Rich Life" part comes in. We make every effort to enjoy life as much as we can, finding enjoyment in simple things. According to the government, we are
poor, but we know that we're richer than most people in the world, and we're grateful for the many blessings we have.
How did we get into our poor situation? Well, we've never been "rich". When PH and I met, I was a single mom to PK1, living in my parents' basement and selling handmade cloth diapers and baby carriers to get by. PH was finishing his second college degree, in social work. I knew going in that things would probably always be tight financially, in a relationship between a social worker and a stay-at-home-mom.
Still, we had faith that things would work out and God would provide for us, and soon we were pregnant with PK2. About 6 months into the pregnancy, we found out that PK2 was pretty sick, and thus started our snowball into increased poor-ness. PK2 spent months in the hospital, where I stayed with her. Meanwhile, PH was trying to balance life with work, spending time with PK1 (who stayed with my parents during PK2's hospital stay), and being at the hospital 75 miles away with me and PK2. His job was understanding and worked with him, even letting him change his schedule to be able to spend more time at the hospital, but eventually it was just too much to balance. PH was falling behind at work, and when he was there, his mind was somewhere else. In early 2009, while PK2 was still in the NICU, he lost his job.
Shortly after, he joined the National Guard. This was a way to provide affordable health insurance for our whole family, especially PK2 who'd had a number of surgeries and was still in the hospital with no end in sight. In addition, he was eligible for a hefty bonus. About a week after PK2 finally came home, PH left for his army training. Nine months later, his training was done and he came home. He'd gotten really good training from the Army, and we figured that between that training and his 2 college degrees, he'd have no problem getting a job. Fast-forward about 2 1/2 years, and he still hasn't found permanent full-time employment.
So how do we survive? Well, remember that hefty bonus? That and our tax refund, along with unemployment and odd jobs (and the grace of God!), have gotten us through. I've gotten WIC since I was pregnant with PK1. I'm also creative in brainstorming ways to save money, cooking almost entirely from scratch, shopping at discount grocery stores, making clothes and other things we need, and using homemade cleaners. Recently, I've had to add trips to the food bank into my weekly routine, and we've applied for other assistance as well. We could have done this a long time ago, but pride and the hope that the perfect job was around the corner stopped us. The job hope is dwindling now, and the desperation is starting to kick in...
One thing I've noticed is that the food bank is full of "normal" people. "Normal" people also fill the waiting room at the WIC office. And even more "normal" people are struggling to make ends meet because they don't qualify for help. It's embarrassing to admit that I "grocery shop" at the food bank, that I depend on our WIC checks to get us through the month, and that I hope to God that we get approved for food stamps so I can go on a REAL shopping trip and replenish all of the staple items I've been out of for months. But, if me writing about the aid we receive can help to normalize it, and reduce the stigma associated with being poor, then I think it's worth the embarrassment.
I also hope to debunk the myth that poor people can't afford to eat healthy diets. I have certain rules I follow when feeding my family, and I've found it's far less costly to feed us a healthy, whole foods diet than it is to rely on boxed or frozen dinners and other processed foods. I'm planning to share lots of recipes and meal plans, to help everyone get their food budgets under control.
I hope you'll enjoy the things I share and that they'll help you enjoy a Rich Life!
